


The Dead Can't Testify

by Seyanna



Category: The Bartimaeus Trilogy - Fandom
Genre: Avatar: The Last Airbender - Freeform, Crossover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 17:15:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1991163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seyanna/pseuds/Seyanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A crossover between the Bartimaeus Trilogy and Avatar: The Last Airbender</p><p>(this work is currently on hiatus as it was made a long time ago, my writing skills weren't the best, and I'm not very immersed in the fandom anymore. I may pick it up again at a later date)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. People of Power Are Often the Most Annoying

“DO YOU THINK HE'S DEAD?”

“Jabor, shut up! Of course he's not dead! At least, I don't think he is...”

“Would someone just go check his pulse already?”

We all glanced at each other to see who would be brave enough to touch the unconscious body. Obviously none of us were, so we did the next best thing. Choose an unlucky fellow and force him to do it. As per the usual, this was me. Queezle gave me a helpful, if not forceful, nudge for encouragement. I rubbed my hands together and got low to the ground, close to his face. Nope. He definitely was not breathing. “Guys,” I turned to face the others, “I think he's dead.”

There was a moment of silence before all hell broke loose. Queezle looked like she was hyperventilating. Faquarl, as usual, was trying to prove that this whole thing was my fault. Jabor, I think, was trying to decide if hitting someone would solve anything. Ptolemy had found his way over to me and was inspecting the body.

“Where do you think we should hide his body?”

“What are you talking about Ptol? I'm not touching it. It's dead.”

“ _He_ is dead, yes. And if anyone finds out we killed him-” 

“Yeah, yeah I know.  _We're_ dead.” 

Queezle had evidently heard us and was giving us a horrified look1. “How can you two be so calm? We killed someone! We snuffed out a precious, glowing flame of sentience! And you're just standing here wondering where to hide him? What is  _wrong_ with you two?” Ptolemy and I shared a look. “Listen Queezle,” I said gently, “Yes, it is very tragic that this man died. However, have you ever heard the term self preservation? Well, that's what we need to right now. Survival of the fittest and all that.” 

“For once I think he might be right.”

“Don't you start Faquarl! How can you all be so heartless?”

I shrugged. Ptolemy looked away guiltily. Jabor just looked confused. After at least an hour of arguing we finally convinced her that the best thing to do was to hide this guy and never speak of it. Although that was a little difficult, considering this guy was the avatar and all2. I suppose, though, that first I should satiate your curious little minds. How did this happen? Well... 

 

 

I ducked behind one of the rock ledges Jabor had created while trying to hit me in midair. Ptolemy quickly slid in next to me. “Where's Queezle?” I dared a quick glance around the side of the outcropping hoping that maybe she was right behind us. “I don't know.” he panted, “I think I saw her run off the opposite way towards Faquarl's backside.” I groaned. Didn't she know anything about fighting? _Obviously_ you don't attack the opponent head on3. I patted Ptolemy's shoulder. “Well... Looks like we're a man down.” 

“Rekhyt she's still-”

“Nope. She was dead the moment she decided sneaking up on Faquarl was a good idea.” 

“YES, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE I HAD A GOOD IDEA SNEAKING-WAIT NO LET ME TRY AGAIN. IT'S LOOKS LIKE ME SNEAKING UP ON YOU WAS A GOOD IDEA. YEAH.” 

How we didn't hear Jabor's thundering footsteps the world will never know. Regardless, rescuing Queezle was definitely out of the question now, as we had this giant mass of what some dared call a person to deal with. “Jabor, I've told you once and I'll tell you again, take on poetry. Your talent with words must be recognized.” 

“YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF ME AREN'T YOU?” 

“What? No, of course I'm not!”4

“JUST SHUT UP ALREADY SO I CAN BEAT YOU UP.”

“Now, you see,” Ptolemy chimed in, “Unfortunately we won't be able to do that this evening. We have a prior engagement to attend to. It's really quite urgent.” He spread his hands apologetically.

“Perhaps we can you squeeze you in next time, chap.”

I linked arms with Ptolemy and, with the help of our air and fire bending, we launched ourselves into the air. With a bit of bad steering, we were soon at a safe enough distance to continue discussing a plan. That is, if some _idiot_ hadn't come crashing in. 

We were close to the Earth Kingdom, and one of its residents, a small boy, had run right into the middle of the fray. He couldn't have been any older than seven or eight, but he was spouting nonsense about us disturbing the peace and threatening the villagers. Queezle had taken this opportunity to lunge at Faquarl with her sword. He deflected it at the last moment with a water whip and was now launching razor sharp icicles at her. Luckily, she was very quick on her feet and was now behind, well, me. Noticing a particularly large chunk of ice heading my way, I hit the floor, leaving her to fend for herself. If Ptolemy hadn't been there we'd probably be dead.

The kid was now screaming at the top of his lungs, throwing small pebbles around to defend himself. Jabor, obviously tired of this, opened a small hole in the ground beneath him and locked him in so that only his head was exposed. Tendrils of water were snaking toward him menacingly5. He started wailing even louder and trying to wriggle out of his rocky prison. Well, I didn't want to see the poor kid end up dead because of a fight he had nothing to do with.

“Oi, aren't you an earthbender?” I called.

This gave him pause. He looked as though he had just had the greatest epiphany of mankind before opening the ground enough to allow him to escape. He leaped out and started running back toward... Jabor? “You'll pay for that!” he yelled defiantly. I couldn't believe this kid. Neither could Ptolemy. He was frantically trying to pull the kid back toward us with a powerful gust of wind. Each time, though, the little tike through up a barrier of rock, blocking the wind out. When he finally reached Jabor, the man effortlessly grabbed him by the neck with one hand and lifted him into the air. He gave an beastly snarl. The boy panicked and thrust out his arm, spewing out a bolt of... flame? Everyone froze.

“I'm the avatar.” he breathed. “I, Nathaniel Underwood, AM THE AVA-”

Poor Nathaniel was cut off by a mouth full of water. You see, this entire thing had started because of the avatar. Faquarl had had this brilliant idea to scour the earth kingdom for him and keep him hostage, then he could use him to start whatever it is he was planning. My little rag tag mercenary team and I had been hired to stop him. We caught him with him right outside this village. Good thing too, because apparently this was where the avatar lived.

Jabor dropped the boy and Faquarl quickly covered him in a thick layer of ice. Thankfully, this included his mouth. Queezle retrieved her fallen sword and ran towards him, Ptolemy covering her from behind. Jabor intercepted her as I kept Faquarl at bay. He tried to grab me with water tentacles, I dodged and sent out little fire bolts, it was almost like dancing. That is, until I got smashed in the side of the face with a rock. We both looked over to see a soaked, and enraged, Nathaniel. It was terrifying how quickly he had utilized his new found abilities to melt the ice.

Everything that happened next was almost too fast to notice. Jabor ran for the boy. Queezle thrust out her sword in an attempt to block him. Faquarl knocked it out of her hand. It soared through the air, straight for Ptolemy. I was there in a flash, pulling him out of the way; but not before it brushed past his chin, slicing it open. Nathaniel lunged at Faquarl, who blasted him into the air. He flew a few feet away and Jabor launched him again at an angel by hitting him like a volleyball. He smashed into a nearby tree with a sickening crunch. Ptolemy made me stop fussing over his cut and we all ran over to the now still form of Nathaniel.

“Jabor, why did you hit him?”

“HE WAS IN MY WAY.”

Faquarl clapped his hands to his face and let out an exasperated groan. You lot know the rest from here. We confirmed that he was dead and Jabor dragged him into some nearby bushes. It wasn't the best hiding place, but it would do. However, there was still the fact that we had just killed the _avatar._ Faquarl was angry because he had wanted the boy alive. Queezle was upset because he was just a child. Ptolemy mused over the fact that everyone was looking for an earthbender as the avatar, instead it would be a firebender now. That gave me an idea. 

“Look, Queezle's right. What we did was a horrible, but it already happened and we can't change that now. But it's also caused us to have similar interests. We're all looking for the new avatar now right? Us because it's still technically our job to protect them, and you so you can do... whatever it is you plan to do.” They all nodded, allowing me to continue. “Why don't we  _pretend_ to be the avatar? We'll travel around, convincing everyone that one of us is the avatar until we find the new one. Then we can fake our death and everyone will focus on finding the reincarnated avatar. Then we can fight again over who gets to keep the little tike.” 

Our employer not only wanted us to stop the little kidnapping, but also to bring back the avatar to headquarters so we could train him or her. We were all in serious trouble if they found out we had done the exact opposite. Faquarl, of course, had to question my motives, but he finally consented to the idea. We had worked together in the past, and we had tried to kill each other in the past. Honestly this endeavor was not unlike anything we had done back then. Jabor went along with anything Faquarl said. Queezle said it was the least we could do for the kid. Ptolemy figured it was the best way to appease everyone. We were all agreed. 

We all promised each other not to kill one another in our sleep, and set off our separate ways to gather supplies. Also I had to explain to our employer that Faquarl and Jabor had 'gotten away' and we still hadn't found the avatar. We decided to regroup in three days at a tea shop in Ba Sing Se to discuss a formal plan. 

 

 

Nathaniel's eyes slowly flickered open. A girl was standing over him, saying something. His head swam and he couldn't quite make it out at first. His vision was bleary and his senses dull. Yet he still remembered what had happened. He was the avatar. A group of what looked like mercenaries tried to kill him. He slipped into unconsciousness again, but not before silently vowing to seek revenge on them. He would not be beaten so easily. 

1Or she was constipated. I couldn't exactly tell.

2Oh, did I forget to mention that? Well we killed the avatar by mistake.

3Apply directly to the forehead.

4The weird noise Ptolemy made while trying to contain his laughter did not add strength to my claim.

5Can water be menacing? I suppose in the hands of Faquarl it certainly can. Like that time I was 'visiting' him in the Northern Water Tribe and he almost drowned three people with a single drop of tea.

 


	2. My Leg is Bothersome and So Are Dead People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I started this a year ago and never finished it? Yeah well here you go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, I know, but I wrote it in like two days because I suddenly remembered that this thing existed.

Tea shops were always so comforting to me. The quiet atmosphere, the heavenly smells wafting through the air, the sound of Jabor inhaling small pastries; all of it had quite a homey feel. Which of course served to dampen the brooding aura surrounding our little band of misfits. “So we’re in agreement then?” Faquarl eyed me curiously. I threw a glance at Queezle who nodded slightly.

“Yes, I suppose we are.” 

The agreement had been, of course, that we’d use Queezle, the only non bender, as our faux avatar. She was small and stocky enough to pass for whatever age that Nathaniel kid had been. We’d teach her the basic movements of our respective elements so that if anyone asked, she could summon a small breeze or splash of water to prove her claim. Fortunately, no one expected her to even be decent at all four elements yet. Unfortunately, nations and elemental masters alike would flock to her in hopes that they’d be the lucky ones to train the avatar. The rest of us would have to pretend that we actually knew what we were doing long enough to convince everyone that she was in capable hands, then make a big show of whisking her off to some undisclosed location where she could learn in peace. However, most of us had very bad reputations. 

Faquarl and Jabor were revered for being a fearsome mercenary/assassination/whatever dirty work you had in mind duo. Faquarl’s creepy water tentacle thing and his habit of drowning people on land probably plagues the dreams of small children, while Jabor was known for his terrifying strength and weird ability to keep picking himself up off the ground no matter how many times you hit him. And me? Well, who wouldn’t be in awe of someone as stunningly handsome and intelligent as I? I who could charm my way out of any situation, I who was a master of disguise, I who could fly though I was not an air bender. Yes I’m sure there are many tales of me whispered in rugged taverns and among unsavory travelers. I smiled slightly at my own brilliance when I noticed the rest were staring. 

“Well, Bartimaeus?” 

I blinked. “Well what?” 

Faquarl took in a deep breath and bit the inside of his cheek. “The next avatar is going to be a firebender, yes?” 

“Um, yes?” 

“So where are we going?” 

“...The fire nation?” 

He feigned mock surprise. “Why yes! Very good Bart!” 

“You know I hate it when you do that.” 

 

He ignored me, downing the rest of his jasmine tea and excusing himself from the table. 

“We’re leaving now?” 

“About an hour from now. We’ll gather provisions and head out. No sense dawdling.” 

I groaned. Why was he always in such a hurry? Did he plan on walking to the fire nation? I looked to Ptolemy for sympathy but he was already out the door. I really need to keep a better eye on him, if not he tends to wander. An hour until departure was enough for him to travel through half of Ba Sing Se. Queezle went to pay for our light breakfast and Jabor and I stared at each other awkwardly until we both felt uncomfortable enough to go outside. He stalked off across the street and I waited outside the door for Queezle, rubbing my thigh. Unfortunately the meeting with our employer hadn’t gone well, and I had a new bruise to add to my countless others. He wasn’t happy, of course, that we’d let the avatar escape. He probably would’ve had us killed if we weren’t skilled benders. We’d managed to get away with only a few nicks, but no doubt he was looking for us. Apparently he wanted to remain anonymous and would’ve killed us after handing over the avatar anyway. I wasn’t bothered, though this sort of thing tended to happen a lot in my line of work. 

Queezle punched my arm in way of greeting, and we walked off down the road in silence. At length she asked, “How’s your leg?” 

“Still a leg, though it now features a slight limp.” 

There was a pause. 

“How do you do that?” 

“Do what?” 

“Remain so calm. It hasn’t even been a week since that boy died.” 

“You mean since we killed him?” 

“Er-yes.” 

I smiled, “Queezle my dear, when you’ve been in this business as long as I have-” 

“I’m the one who got you into the business.” 

“Oh, right, I guess you did. Well what I was trying to say is that as a bender, I’ve been recruited for a lot of unspeakable things, and consequentially, I’ve seen a lot of people die. Not that you haven’t, but you tend to steal things or act as a bodyguard, you aren’t exactly a killer. And when faced with the option, you have a habit of sparing people.” 

She nodded thoughtfully, “So you’re just numb to this now?” 

“Why shouldn’t I be?” 

She shrugged, “I don’t know, what if he comes back to haunt you?” she wiggled her fingers and made that weird moaning noise that ghosts supposedly make. I laughed and pushed her away. I’d lied of course, that it didn’t bother me, it bothered me a lot, but I wasn’t quite worried about something like ghosts. She linked her arm with mine as we continued our lazy search for Ptolemy. The buildings in this section were a lot older, either that or they just weren't kept well. There were cracks in the road and the buildings were a dingy off-white colour. There were a few people milling about, and they looked as run down as their houses. Naturally, this is exactly where we found Ptolemy. He seemed to be talking to one of the locals about something, but smiled when he saw us. 

“There you two are.” 

“What are you talking about? We’ve been looking for you.” 

He shrugged, “What have you been talking about?” 

“Ghosts.” 

He did that little humming noise he made when he was listening but didn’t really care what you were saying. 

“What’s on your mind?” I asked. 

“I’ve been asking around to see if anyone ever found that boy’s body.” 

“Don’t tell me you phrased it that way.” 

He shook his head, “I can be discreet you know. So far no one’s seen anything, meaning we’re safe.” 

I scoffed, “Like anyone’s going to know it was us anyway.” 

He pulled his black and red tunic tighter around himself. Despite being an airbender, he’d been born into the fire nation. Something about his mother meeting someone at a festival and then having an airbender kid a year later. I wasn’t about to complain though, I’d have never met him otherwise. 

“Does he plan on making us walk to the fire nation?” he asked. 

“That’s what I was thinking!” 

Queezle shook her head at us. 


End file.
